#BoPoSew: My Style Journey

Go to Making the Flame for more #BoPoMarch and #BoPoSew.

I used to be thin. Beginning when I was still a child people would tell me that I was "one of those people who can eat anything and never gain an ounce." And for many years I believed it. Even when I started to notice that it wasn't true I could cut back on snacks for a week and lose five pounds as easily as I had gained it. This went on for about a decade - gain five pounds, lose five pounds. Then sometime in my early to mid thirties the weight I gained stopped coming off so easily. I went from a size 8 to a size 10. Then later to a size 12 and finally ending up at my current size(s) - 14 on the top and 16 on the bottom.

Even when I was thin I had a little belly fat and when I started to gain weight that's where I gained it first and most. I can't remember exactly when I bought my former favorite big shirt pattern. I was first attracted to it because it was easy to sew and comfortable but I soon discovered its value as concealing garment. I must have made at least a dozen of them. I wore them with RTW stretch pants and baggy pull-on pants that I made. It felt safe, something I could wear without having to think about it too much. It wasn't the only thing I wore but everything else I wore also tended to be loose and shapeless.

(This is one of those big shirts. Apologies for the odd, off center crop. I was standing next to my niece and while she's beautiful and I would love to show her off too I doubt she would approve.)

My transition away from baggy clothes started with New Look 6598. I saw it and wanted it but I believed I "couldn't" wear anything that was fitted and not long enough to cover my nether regions so it took me a long time to decide to actually buy the pattern and even longer before I worked up the courage to make it. It turned out to be only semi-fitted, loose fitting but with some shape, And I was surprised and pleased that I didn't hate it at all. I didn't immediately give up big shirts but I was happy to have another option.

Later I discovered New Look 6078 and this one was another surprise. Looking at the pictures on the pattern envelope I expected another semi-fitted blouse but it turned out to be close fitting and I wasn't disappointed. It has become one of my basic, go-to patterns. There are others, both fitted and semi-fitted but I'm not here to list all my pattern discoveries today. I have recently gone back to wearing some looser fitting long shirts and tunics but these are different, not huge and completely shapeless like my old big shirt pattern.

I also transitioned from baggy pants to something closer to "skinny jeans". And I re-discovered how much I love dresses and was pleasantly surprised to find that retro style dresses - fitted bodice with a gathered or flared skirt - suit me quite well. All these are exactly the kinds of clothes that the "experts" say are totally wrong for my body type but they make me happy and I am not 100% displeased with what I see in the mirror. (maybe still 30% displeased?) And that's what's important isn't it.

We all have to deal with shaming of one kind or another. There's no getting away from it. Some of the same people who preach against body shaming will shame you for what you eat or what you wear. We are shamed for clothes that are too revealing and for clothes that are too concealing. And it gets worse as you get older. Wear something "too young" and people say you need to learn to dress properly for your age. Try to wear what "they" say is age appropriate and they say it's "dowdy".

When we were kids we were taught the mantra, "Sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me." Of course we know that's not true. Words do hurt but maybe "roll with the punches" would be a more useful cliche. We get punched down but we can get back up and carry on.

We don't really have to be personally shamed to feel shamed. It's all over the Internet - people telling us what we should and should not wear based on weight and body type and some of it is even intended to be helpful. It's never going to stop. All we can do is try to ignore it and wear whatever makes us happy. If you see something you like try it and then decide.